Brad said something that really made me think today. He said that he has learned that you teach people how to treat you. In my case, I have taught people that "I am only good enough for your crumbs" in life. Then he said that, that is not even true, "in your case you have taught yourself that you are not even worth their crumbs, so that would even be a bonus." Ouch, I didn't see that coming. I don't know how I come across that way, but I know he is right. I don't value myself enough to demand respect of any kind from anyone. I feel like I have a long way to go to get there.
He said that the worst person you can lie to is yourself. Some people lie to make themselves look and feel better, but in your case it is the opposite. The lies you tell yourself continue to deplete your value, worth, and esteem. It is just as bad to be on this side as it is to be on the other.
So, at the end of this session I ended up having 3 assignments:
1. Ask my dad if he approves of me and is proud of me, and why. As we were talking about this one I kinda got teary eyed. Brad knew I was terrified of this assignment. He picked right up on it and said, "You are terrified to ask your dad if he is proud of you. You are afraid his answer is going to be no, but I KNOW his answer is going to be yes." For some reason my dad's approval is the most important. I want my mom's approval and certainly Bret's, but dad's is the one that I long for the most. I need to know that he is proud of me in every area of my life.
2. List all my strengths.
3. List all my life goals
I can tell you this is going to be a tough week, but I think and hope I am up to the challenge.
No comments:
Post a Comment